Dear Anna,
I’m starting a new position. My mentor suggested that I not wear my favorite (bright and colorful) socks. What do you think?
– Wondering About Appearances
Dear Wondering About Appearances,
Your question reminds me of work shoe dilemmas, which leads me to thinking about how footwear can be a metaphor for the foundation of one’s leadership style. Your mentor is trying to be helpful, and wants what they think is best for you. Since you refer to these socks as being your “favorite,” let’s consider some other frameworks to try, starting from at the beginning of one’s job search.
1. During a job interview, be yourself as much as possible, as much as feasible. While pressure, nerves, and expectations may make us feel tempted to be anything other than ourselves during a job interview, you will be giving a huge gift to your future self if you have presented your genuine self and you land the job. Why? Because then when you show up on your first day of work, you won’t have to expend energy wondering or worrying about if they will accept you and your style. If you sense that a workplace is not going to appreciate or accept your unique style, then consider that maybe you might want to find a different work environment that will find your style simply smashing. As author Charlotte Greedy writes, “You Do You.”
2. Find and develop your own stable foundation. Some people will tell you to wear a specific type of shoe to match a certain type of role. I say – find a working environment that embraces what works best for you. Spaces designed for people to practice physically accessing their inner power, such as in yoga and karate, typically expect people to not even be wearing any shoes at all. In yoga and karate, the source of a person’s balance does not come from the offset of high heels or from the constriction of stiff shoes, but from creating a foundation through connecting one’s foot to the ground. I believe that when we literally and figuratively wear a shoe style that individually works for us, we can stand in and on our own solid leadership foundation.
3. When your outside is in harmony with your inside, good things can happen. Authentic leadership starts with identifying your core values. When people understand what you stand for, they can decide whether they want to follow you or if they want to try a different pathway. Dr. Gabor Maté has written about the medical and psychological reasons for being authentic from the inside out. I think that finding your harmony can also help you to be a trustworthy leader at the office.
Sometimes shoes that we think are perfect give us blisters. Sometimes we don’t know that a shoe is perfect until we’ve worn it for a while and learned from the experience. For safety reasons, some work environments require a steel-toed shoe or other work-specific situation. Personally, I’d avoid wearing sandals while working around horses...
My hope for you is that you find a work environment where you can be you as much as feasible. As I’ve said in a prior post (https://askannabanana.substack.com/p/whats-so-special-about-you-anyway), everybody is different. I believe every workplace is different too. Go find one that celebrates your uniqueness and values your talents. One of my mentors told me to pursue the things that I enjoy so that I could “be the sun.” When you get to show up at work as your true self, with your favorite socks, footwear and all, your authenticity will radiate and inspire.
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Disclaimer: These tips are meant to be a helpful starting point of ideas. Proceed at your own risk. Each person and organization is different, and this information may or may not help you. Try what resonates with you, keeping in mind common sense and circumstances. Seek professional advice that is tailored to your specific situation.
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