Managing office dynamics: Can we agree to disagree?

Three things to try when you have multiple colliding viewpoints at the office

Dear Anna,

I’m the Executive Director of an organization where some board Trustees disagree with each other. You can see, hear, and feel the tensions across people! How can the board come to consensus? How do we communicate with each other?

Signed, Caught In Between

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Dear Caught In Between,

Trustees sharing a range of viewpoints can be helpful to an organization. It enables the members to explore multiple pathways of possibilities. Disagreements are an opportunity to learn, explore, and consider multiple points of view.

However, entrenchments, refusals, and statements such as, “No, that’s not possible here” can become destabilizing and hamper productivity.

I believe that challenging dynamics emerge when people conflate the “brainstorm” process with the “editing” part of a process. With that in mind, here are three strategies to try:

1. Schedule “brainstorm” time versus “editing” time. Be very clear which type of activity you are holding in that moment. During the brainstorm, when “editing” starts to creep into the discussion, name it and put the concern on a “parking lot” list. Other names for the “parking lot” list include a “bike rack” or “garden” list of things to consider later or at another meeting. Note that I wrote “when” and not “if” editing starts to creep into the discussion, because editing mode is pervasive and tends to show up in most brainstorms. Keep a judge-free eye out for it.

a. Brainstorms are time for “what if” and “I wonder…” They are times to be expansive and exploratory of many possibilities.

b. Edits are time for shaping the ideas into buckets of time, effort, and interest. Some of the ideas may be possibilities for the future, whereas others are quick, low-cost items that you can try immediately.

2. Name the challenge. When you start to feel stress or tension in the meeting, practice naming it. Such as, “Looks like we have wildly ranging opinions on this topic. Let’s name what they are.” Write out the varying viewpoints where all attendees can see the words. Some might be tempted to move quickly through the unpacking. However, if you take the time to slow down to go fast, I believe you will save time in the long run.

3. Experiment with a “fist-to-five” approach as you move through each stage of a discussion. Have people show with their fingers how much they are in agreement with the specific topic. Zero fingers represents zero agreement, and five fingers represents full agreement. Decide as a group what you want the numbers in between to represent – for example, that zero through two indicates much discussion might be warranted, and that four through five indicates close agreement that is ready to move on relatively quickly. I first learned about the “fist-to-five” approach in the book, “Leadership Is Language” by L. David Marquet.

Each of these strategies has many variations that will change over time, depending on the context, content, and people involved. They are examples of activities that I coach organizations on, and they take time and practice.

Every person is different, and groups evolve as people move in and out of them. Over time, you will discover which approach works well for you and for the people around you. Keep experimenting, and when you are ready for more ideas to try out, let me know!

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Disclaimer: These tips are meant to be a helpful starting point of ideas. Proceed at your own risk. Each person and organization is different, and this information may or may not help you. Try what resonates with you, keeping in mind common sense and circumstances. Seek professional advice that is tailored to your specific situation.

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